Get your ears around this track, produced by Vanilla at the Banana Peel Studio.
Vanilla Manilla Gorilla is a A cheeky, lovable gorilla who thinks he’s the coolest bloke in the jungle. He loves bananas, food, music, sport, cars, jokes and having a crack at everyday life.
🦍🍌 VANILLA MANILLA GORILLA’S SPORTS DESK
THE 2026 AFL GRAND FINAL REVIEW
“I watched it so you didn’t have to. You’re welcome.”
By Vanilla Manilla Gorilla
Chief Sports Analyst, Banana Division
Righto sports fans.
Vanilla Manilla Gorilla here, reporting from the Vanilla Manilla Sports Desk, where we take sport very seriously.
Well…
Sometimes.
I have just finished watching the 2026 AFL Grand Final between the Brisbane Lions and Fremantle Dockers.
And I’ve got three words:
WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED?
Brisbane has won the premiership after producing one of the most ridiculous comebacks I’ve ever seen.
The Lions were 17 points behind with just minutes remaining.
At that point, I had already started eating my celebratory banana.
Then Brisbane decided they weren’t finished.
Four straight goals later…
PREMIERSHIP.
Brisbane won 14.12 (96) to 12.17 (89) in front of more than 100,000 people at the MCG.
I nearly dropped my banana.
🦍 VANILLA’S BIGGEST TALKING POINT
WHARFIE TIME… WENT BANANAS
Now, I’m not saying Fremantle’s famous Wharfie Time celebration caused what happened.
I’m a gorilla.
I’m not stupid.
But…
It certainly didn’t end well.
Fremantle appeared to have the game in its hands before Brisbane launched an extraordinary late comeback.
Charlie Cameron and Zac Bailey dragged the Lions back into the contest before Logan Morris kicked two crucial goals in the final stages, including the goal that put Brisbane in front.
Then Morris kicked another.
BALL GAME.
Vanilla’s scientific conclusion:
Never celebrate too early.
Especially if you’re playing Brisbane.
🦍 PLAYER OF THE DAY
LOGAN MORRIS
Three goals.
All in the final quarter.
Two of them when the Lions absolutely needed them.
That’s what Vanilla calls:
“HAVING A CRACK.”
Morris went from promising footballer to Grand Final hero in about five minutes.
Meanwhile, I once tried to carry three bananas at once and dropped two.
So Logan wins this one.
🏅 NORM SMITH MEDAL
Now this is where things got interesting.
Fremantle’s Shai Bolton won the Norm Smith Medal despite the Dockers losing the Grand Final.
That makes him the first player from the losing side to win the medal since Chris Judd in 2005.
Vanilla’s official reaction:
“That’s gotta hurt.”
Imagine playing brilliantly…
winning the best-on-ground medal…
and then watching the other team take the cup home.
That’s a bit like winning Best Banana Eater of the Year and discovering someone else ate all the bananas.
🦁 BRISBANE LIONS
Vanilla’s rating:
9.5 BANANAS OUT OF 10 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
Three premierships in a row.
That’s serious business.
The Lions have now matched their previous three-peat from 2001–2003, making this another extraordinary chapter in the club’s history.
Vanilla’s official analysis:
“They seem to be quite good at winning Grand Finals.”
You’re welcome.
⚓ FREMANTLE DOCKERS
Vanilla’s rating:
8.5 BANANAS OUT OF 10 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌
Yes, they lost.
But let’s be fair.
They were minutes away from winning their first AFL premiership.
They had Brisbane on the ropes.
They just couldn’t close the deal.
That’s going to hurt for a very long time.
But there’s plenty for Fremantle supporters to be proud of after reaching only the second Grand Final in the club’s history.
🎤 VANILLA’S POST-GAME INTERVIEW
Reporter: Vanilla, what did you think of the Grand Final?
Vanilla:
“Fantastic.”
Reporter: What was your favourite moment?
Vanilla:
“The comeback.”
Reporter: What did you think of Logan Morris?
Vanilla:
“Excellent.”
Reporter: What did you think of the Norm Smith Medal?
Vanilla:
“Excellent.”
Reporter: What did you think of the weather?
Vanilla:
“Wet.”
Reporter: And your overall assessment?
Vanilla:
“I need another banana.”
🏆 VANILLA’S FINAL VERDICT
The 2026 AFL Grand Final had everything.
Drama.
Rain.
Pressure.
A massive comeback.
Heartbreak.
A three-peat.
And a finish that will be talked about for years.
Brisbane looked finished.
Then they went:
“NAH… WE’RE NOT DONE YET.”
And that’s why we love sport.
One minute you’re celebrating.
The next minute you’re wondering what on earth just happened.
Congratulations to the Brisbane Lions.
Commiserations to the Fremantle Dockers.
And congratulations to Shai Bolton on a remarkable Norm Smith Medal.
As for me?
I’ve got one thing left to say…
🍌🦍 BRING ON NEXT SEASON!
Until next time,
Vanilla Manilla Gorilla
🕶️🍌🦍
Chief Sports Analyst
Vanilla Manilla Gorilla Sports Desk
“I know my footy. I also know bananas.”
